


Dwalin Rambles/Imagines

by blankdblank



Series: Dwalin Rambles/Imagines [1]
Category: The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: F/M, Fluff and Humor, Gen, M/M, Multi, Random & Short, Smut
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-01
Updated: 2018-05-01
Packaged: 2019-04-30 16:43:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 14,065
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14501250
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blankdblank/pseuds/blankdblank
Summary: One Stew a Day Keeps the Mortar Bears Away





	1. Always Cold

I am almost cold, I’ve been known to wear a thick sweater on over 100 degree weather and I can still be cold. I think it would be hilarious if a character was thrown into the Company who was always cold, doesn’t complain about it just keeps gathering all the coats and layers the Dwarves all take off in the heat.   
Later in Erebor Thorin is walking with Dain and Dwalin through the Forges for an inspection on how the rebuild is going, you’re somewhat of his secretary following him whenever he needs you with Ori next to you taking notes as they talk. Dain removed his coat and left it with a dwarf in the office by the forge entrance, Thorin gets halfway as he takes off his coat and throws it over Dwalins shoulder, earning an eye roll from him, switching to a smile as he feels you grab the thick fur coat and pull it on, all the Dwarves looking at the two Kings and their groups eyes all pop wider and their mouths drop which they suddenly shut and pretend they saw nothing as the Kings keep moving unaware.   
A dozen feet later they turn a corner and Dain catches a glimpse of you and stops, forcing his cousin to stop and turn as well making you slam into his solid chest before taking a step back and apologizing as you barely manage to keep all your journals and books in your arms.   
Dain, “What are you thinking wearing his coat?”   
Dwalin, “Ahh don’t mind her she’s just cold, same as always.”   
Dain, “COLD???!!! We are standing ten feet from a 60 foot tall iron forge, how in Mahals name can you be cold?” Flailing his arms to the side in disbelief, you take your armfuls of books and shift them into the crook of one of your arms and slide Thorins giant sleeve back and grab Dains bare forearm, which he quickly retracts due to the distinct temperature change.   
Dain, “What the?” Stepping forward and using both hands to squeeze up and down your arm before giving your books to Dwalin and doing the same with the other, shaking his head in disbelief as he places the back of his hand on your forehead which is also freezing. He looks at Thorin but is at a loss for words, and just turns and keeps moving as Dwalin hands you back your books and Thorin pulls his coat tighter around you giving you a smile and a wink before following his cousin who was muttering about how many coats he was going to make you and for the rest of his visit he always made sure you were covered and quietly pushed you closer to the fireplace anytime there was one.


	2. Breaking the Hobbit

The Company has done everything to make sure you were always comfortable and not expected to do much as they always tended to you because of their Dwarfly way of cherishing females and protecting them. One morning as most of the Company was off getting supplies for breakfast as you peeled yourself off of the extremely rocky ground you had camped on last night. Oin was down by the river but you were left in the Company of Dwalin to make sure you weren’t alone if the campsite was to be suddenly attacked. You stagger over to Dwalin and tap him on the shoulder making him turn and look down at you with a small smile. Dwalin, “Yes lass?” You, “Oin is away, would you help me crack my back?” Dwalin rubbed the back of his neck and stammered out, “Alright. Just tell me what to do.” You step closer to you and ask him to lean down a little and wrap his arms around you and lock his fingers together, you placed his fingers on your knot and told him to squeeze tightly. He did and quickly your back let out a violent crack as you clenched the back of his coat and let out a tiny shriek, causing the group to run to you. They arrived as you were thanking him and moving his fingers higher and he did it again, each of them flinching at the second crack as Dwalin released you as you thanked him again and stretched your back again and rolled your shoulders and stretched your arms, letting out several tiny pops and cracks. All of the dwarves but Dwalin still staring with their mouths open and Dwalin mouthing, “She asked me to.” As Bilbo walked to you and asked if you’d help him pop his back as well letting out similar cracks. All the Dwarves determined to let you use them as a mattress if they had to do they would never have to hear your body make those sounds again.


	3. Bushg

You stormed into the Royal Wing sitting room, heading straight for Dwalin, the only member of your Company, the rest being Dain’s head Men, all leaving as they spotted your tear stained face hoping to avoid Dwalins fury after finding out why.  
Dwalin looked up as he noticed the others leaving, spotting you and standing before you got to him, fists already curled waiting for a direction to be sent in.  
“What’s wrong lass? Who made you cry?”  
You stopped in front of him looking up at him with tear filled eyes and your lips quivering as you spoke in a broken voice, “Everyone keeps calling me bush…” you let out a sob as you wave your arm, “Everywhere I go it’s always, oh there goes the little bush again!” You let out another sob as you said, “I know I’m small and have really curly hair, BUT THATS NO REASON TO CALL ME BUSH!!!” As your voice cracked and more tears poured down your cheeks, making Dwalin quickly wrap you into a tight hug.  
Softly rubbing your back as he said in a soft rumble, “Lass, it’s Bushg.” Emphasizing the G at the end, “Bushg means Hobbit.”  
He kept rubbing your back as you let out a muffled reply through his thick fur vest, “That doesn’t make me feel any better.”  
Making him rest his head against yours and hug you a little tighter, “I will tell them to stop. Every Dwarf I can find.”  
The rest of the group quickly joining you wrapping you into a tight hug and each spreading through the Mountain not to call you that again.


	4. Cookies

Safely back in their home with danger gone the Dwarves as a danger loomed around you. Through the Journey you’d hopelessly pined over the bald warrior, thankfully with the group oblivious to it after bribing Bilbo, the only sane one among them also sharing in a familiar courting system to yours. Daily you would manage through his grumbles, ignoring and brushes past you knocking you free of his path whenever anything past setting out the bedrolls was expected of you to claim the task himself.  
________________________________________  
Returning to their duties in the reclaimed home brought a near devastating absence of the giant Dwarf you wished to snuggle with until he just oozed giant floating hearts all over the place to fill the Mountain. Daily in your new position as a glorified assistant to the King, one severely doubted by the returning Dwarves wondering quite loudly as to if the job was truly necessary for creating.   
Soon to be answered as yes, a million times yes as the back log for everything nearly drove Thorin to the brink of a blinding rage daily until your week long string of all nighters settling nearly half of it easing his burden. A remarkable shift came from the Dwarves after that seeing how easily you had mended the mood of the King, soon finding yourself loaded with gifted foods from Dwarves hoping to win the favor of the King’s right hand.  
Twelve plates of cookies and various tarts later you eyed the final plate of turtle cookies unable to get over the memory of the last time you’d eaten them and found out painfully you had caught a stomach bug. Clutching the small tin you passed through the halls with your eyes landing on the bald Dwarf mid lecture to his new string of guards soon stirring a thought, a memory really. The endless stories of Balin having to drag his Brother from sweets bringing a faint smile to your face as you brushed past him pressing the tin to his chest and releasing it with a sliding brush along his arm after his hand had claimed it absently through his continuing his lecture. At the Dwarves smirking before him he rose a brow asking, “What?”  
The bravest among them said, “The King’s second left you a gift.”  
Lowering his eyes he realized he’d been passed something and curiously opened the tin with an adoring glimmer in his eyes as he struggled to contain his smile, drawing his scowl back closing the tin to continue the lecture clutching the cookies you had passed him.  
.  
Day by day his smile grew troubling the Dwarves under his control watched the vast switches between his moods as you had seemingly spurred on a steady courtship with the warrior by spreading your bribes over to him marking him. Even through his relation to the King and the position he’d already earned, much higher as your equal causing the Dams to send the desserts you had shared with him directly to him. Soon adding a few batches you had made on your own as their supply lulled, simply happy to have earned any sense of a smile from the gloomy Dwarf.  
After an excruciatingly long week you returned to your rooms once again pausing in the doorway smelling a dinner already cooking making you stop and turn to look around confirming you were in the right place. Only finding a pair of boots and familiar axes beside your door drawing you farther into the apartment noticing your spare room now taken over by the Dwarf’s belongings drawing a soft squeak from you. Moving on towards the kitchen a soft hum grew louder as you watched the barefoot warrior in a simple tunic and pants plating the meal with a simple smile before glancing up at your sudden appearance.  
Crossing the room his smile grew as he gently claimed the heavy bag on your shoulder and walked to set it in your study while you trailed after him only to find his work papers and desk added there as well before he turned with a growing smile cupping your cheek and laying a gentle kiss on your lips before pressing his forehead to yours circling you with his sturdy arms, “How was your day my Dearest One?”  
Blinking you answered, “Just more paperwork.”  
He smirked drawing back to gently kiss you again nearly making you melt in his arms ignoring whatever injury he must have endured causing this bout of madness he’d fallen to. Accepting his leading you to the dinner he’d created before claiming another kiss and easing you into bed after firmly rubbing your feet, back and arms making sure you were entirely relaxed after your bath he’d drawn for you before ensuring you were safely coated in a new layer of pelts. After he’d gently woven shimmering jewel coated beads into a string of braided hair he slid behind your ear to press another kiss to your cheek with another adoring gaze before tending to the fire again before heading to his own bed for the night.  
.  
A rough hand brushed along your cheek stirring you as your clock in the hallway chimed, “Breakfast is ready my Dearest One.” Sitting up you smiled at him as he offered you a small box, “I had a word with Bilbo a while back and to see how to court you properly. There was a bit about rings for marking engagement, and we’ve passed that bit but I still didn’t want you to miss that phase of flaunting so I’ve got these.” Looking down your lips parted at the three deep blue bands coated in varying sized sapphires in a white gold setting that nearly covered most of your upper ring finger as he eased them proudly onto your finger eyeing your stunned reaction. “You like them?”  
Your eyes met his, “These are breathtaking. You made these?”  
He nodded, “Of course, only the best for my Bride.” Closing the distance to kiss you again and drawing back again with another adoring gaze, “I’ll never be able to tell you how elated I was learning you’d marked me your equal.” Resting his hand firmly on your folded leg with a soft chuckle, “Sent quite a shock wave through the line of men waiting for a second glance at you when you bumped my arm.”  
You scoffed unintentionally, “I doubt there was a line. Only one has shown me so much as a smile since they all returned.”  
Dwalin raised a brow with another chuckle, “You’re still a bit fuzzy on Dwarf courting aren’t you?” You nodded, “Brushing past someone, claiming their duties to ease their suffering, keeping them safe are signs. Ones I must have been a bit too vague with on the Journey. You’ve had hundreds of admirers, can’t toss a stone without hitting one.”  
His gaze dropped timidly to his hand on your lap as you giggled making his eyes meet yours again, “That’s why you kept ordering me to stay at camp?”  
He nodded brushing his other hand along your cheek, “Only thing I could do to make sure you weren’t taxed or harmed Love.” Making your smile grow.  
“And what did my behavior give you as an answer?” You tilted your head curiously making his smile grow just at the adorable expression fighting against his sinking remembering of your constant refusals.  
“That you didn’t feel the same.”  
His eyes met yours at your shocked squeak before whacking him playfully with a pillow making his smile widen, “I spent months staring at you, pining over you and you just glared at me knocking me aside. I’ll have you know I had to bribe Bilbo to take his watches and swap helpings to make sure he didn’t say anything to embarrass me at your obvious loathing of me.” His eyes narrowed, “Glaring isn’t affectionate in our races.”  
He blinked and timidly asked, “So what exactly would you have hoped for?”  
Smirking you brushed the covers down and said, “Something like this.” Lunging at him in a hugging tackle landing your lips on his drawing muffled chuckles from you both through the deepening kiss as he clutched you tightly across his chest. Drawing back you stole another kiss that landed quickly on the tip of his nose making his smile return through a laugh before your fingers gently stroked along his cheeks as you propped up resting your arms across his chest while he looked up at you adoringly, “So how exactly am I expected to behave in public around you now, there won’t be any glaring or anything like that involved will there?”  
He chuckled again, “Normally there are a few affectionate glares.”  
You softly parroted through a giggle, “Affectionate glares.”  
Making him chuckle and continue, “Though with us being a mixed pair how would you care to behave?”  
You smirked gently tapping his nose with another kiss, “For one I’m expecting hugs, I may suddenly run up and snuggle with you, pecks on the cheek, nose possibly.” Sliding your fingers through his beard drawing his smile wider, “Maybe an affectionate conversation thrown in as well. That won’t leave you too terribly mocked will it?”  
It was Dwalin’s turn to scoff, “No one will mock me for having a publicly affectionate wife, our kin normally keep it among family.”  
You giggled, “Oh then there’s no promises against me tackling you mid lecture and coating your face in kisses before I head back to work.”  
He chuckled again, “I should warn you though, tackling in public usually ends with the lass being carried off home.”  
“For embarrassing her mate?” Dropping your gaze to the pattern around his intricate collar.  
“No, that means the Lass is aiming to try for bairns.”  
You giggled resting your chin on his chest feeling his heart beating soundly under your hand, “Oh. I didn’t even think of that.”  
He tilted his head up to meet your eyes, “No need to focus on that right now, we’ve got a good ten years by Dwarvish law to consummate and an extra five after before kin is allowed to bring up trying for bairns, though that limit will try on Dis’ patience. We’ve only just wed and have still yet to have the formal ceremony, if you care to that is.”  
You propped your head up again, “I have to ask. How exactly are we married but not married yet?”  
He chuckled again, “You marked me as your equal by passing me that tin, publicly at that. Had it been us alone in a hall it would have had a different effect. And your constant affections after along with the punch you landed on Gornn at his insult on Thorin’s upper troops, who I control and are a part of, really a jealous test on his part, but it worked out perfectly as you claiming me as your Husband. Is your culture not the same?”  
You blinked as it all slid together in your mind, “Sort of. Just a few minor differing details on methods.” Your finger tapped his nose, “But there’ll be no backing out for you. Said it yourself I’ve marked you and I’ve no intention of releasing you.”  
Making his smile grow before his lips crashed into yours turning you over for another kiss as it was your turn to wrap around him tightly before he raised you to his lap and carried you to the dining room before you both headed off to work.  
.  
Sipping through the Kin’s apartment his eyes shot open at your pounce on his bed drawing his attention to your large grin making him sit up and ask in a knowing dry throated purr, “And just what has you so cheerful?”  
You playfully glared at him handing him the glass of water you were holding, “You could have told me I was married, or even courting Dwalin!”  
He chuckled softly, “No way to do that without spoiling his surprises.” Gently he raised your hand eyeing the rings with an impressed smile, “You’ll be spoiling some courtships with that lavish gift. Many men will have to rethink theirs when their Ones spot your gift and matching beads.” He chuckled as you eyed the ring again as he gave you a slight nudge, “Even with the marriage marking us as kin you’ll have to wait outside as I dress.”  
You rolled your eyes, “Just don’t take so long.”  
He chuckled again, “You can groan about it but it won’t be you that Dwalin charges at if he spots it.” Making you giggle as you went to the hall.  
..  
Hours passed on leaving you bearing a heavy load roaming from one end of the Mountain to the other before breaking to fix a small lunch for yourself and another you sacked and carried to the outer rings towards the guards area hearing a familiar voice barking orders. Eyes shifted to you through your quiet sneak up to the warriors’ side as he continued his instructions with his arm curling around the small body curled against his side fighting the smirk threatening to spread across his face at your gentle peck to his cheek.   
Breaking apart the Dwarves bowed their heads following his orders before he glanced down at you trying to glare at him fighting your giggles making him chuckle and ask, “And just what’s that look for Love?”  
You giggled breaking into a full smile bringing his out, “Is it not an affectionate enough glare?”  
He chuckled again leaning in to kiss you, “Close enough, we can work on that later though.”  
His eyes lowered to the bag you held up with a growing smile, “I have to head back, but I brought you some lunch.” Giving him another peck on the cheek as the men stole jealous glances as the Dams gathered in the doorway observed your very public display before whispering, “Snuck some extra cookies, don’t let Balin know.” Firing him a wink before he stole another kiss thanking you before you bounced happily through the doorway to return to the King and your looming pile of paperwork.  
Unknowingly to you the sudden showing of affections had stirred a storm within the Mountain. New Kingdom new rules, soon you were surrounded by happily sniggling Dwarves all eager to show their not so obvious affections for each other adding to a growing number of tackles and Dams proudly laying across their One’s shoulders for the trip back home bringing a slurry of news of the first generation of pebbles to be welcomed into the Mountain after their four year incubation bringing a new wave of joy rippling through the bubbling happy Dwarves around you.   
Though none of them could possibly rival the jaw dropping tackle Dis had unleashed on her husband causing you to burst out in full loud laughter soon to be muffled by both of your hands as the Princes shielded their eyes hiding behind Dwalin who held you against his chest as you shook with laughter against him making his chuckling and smile grow as she waved and disappeared.   
Her tackle though was soon to be topped as you, wrapped tightly in your white poofy jewel encrusted gown took down Dwalin drawing a rare loud laugh from him as he propped you up on his shoulder midway through your second wedding reception out of the mandatory five as you giggled through the ride while the raucous group of guests from all seven Dwarf Kingdoms proudly cheered for two of the King’s Company as your union was to be finalized possibly granting you a very pebble of your own.


	5. Mighty Mighty Dwalin

The Princes are getting yet another lesson from their Uncle Dwalin, this time on axes, defense, offense and his personal favorite throwing. All the better to impress you, with his skills and talent, though Thorin said it wouldn’t work and Ballin reminded him you weren’t a Dwarf, you might be more impressed by more Hobbitish things, Dwalin arguing that if you loved him you’d love his Dwarfly ways.  
Dwalin had tasked the Princes to hurl their axes,which were nearly the length of 2/3 of their bodies, the 20 feet at a small X he had chalked onto a large rock wall they had chosen to break for the day, camping early due to the bad weather coming the next day, knowing they would need their rest.  
Dwalin watched on as the Princes slowly got their axes closer to the wall, and finally their axes sticking in the rock as the Company all cheered them on and shouted comments and helpful suggestions.  
Dwalin, “Thats it lads. You’ll get it, though doubtful you’ll be able to match me in my lifetime. Never met a creature alive who could best me.” His axe, freshly thrown still sticking out of the Rock, nearly an inch off the target but a worthy hit to his eyes. Grabbing the front of his shirt and nodding, all but him noticing you reach into your enchanted Hobbit bag and pull out a solid mithril axe nearly a foot longer than his, covered in ancient Dwarvish runes, and walk over a foot behind him.   
You took in a deep breath as you flipped it in your hand before drawing it back and hurling it. Thorin studying your movements in detail then following the axe in its path, barely seeing it, just merely a silver streak pass them, before slamming dead center in the X, the force of it causing Dwalin’s and the Princes axes to pop out and fall to the ground. Dwalin sees the new axe and turns eyeing the group before his eyes stop on you standing behind him smiling as the group stares in shock at the Half Hobbit woman who they all dared at one point or another to think needs to be protected.  
You, “Now you have.” Dwalins face twists into a small smirk, before turning to retrieve your axe, “That I have. Boys learn from this, with proper training, and practice anyone can become a master at any craft.” He reached the wall and bent to collet the three axes, handing the Princes axes back to them as Thorin joined his side as he stepped to the right of your axe and gripped it tightly.  
Thorin, “You’re handling this better than I thought, Durins are notorious for turning our courtships to shambles.” Dwalin responds with a grunt before trying to pull your axe free, nothing. So he repositions his hands, nothing. This time he placed his foot on the wall, nothing. You try your best not to laugh as Thorin adds his grip and his foot, nothing.   
You start to walk up behind them, reaching them on their fourth try, Dwalin spotting you from the corner of his eye, pulling back and slamming his back against the wall trying to mask the shock on his face.   
Thorin doing his best to bite back his laughter as you gently gripped your axe with one hand and pulled it out as if it had been harder then pulling a flower from its stem. Fill, Kili both had covered each others mouths, Nori, Dori and Ori had hidden their faces, snickering behind their books, Balin had to bite down on his knuckles, the B brothers all choosing to try and hold their breath, Gloin and Oin already making silent comments to each other, giggling like small children in the distance as Bilbo merely walked in a small circle looking up at the sky counting to a hundred, forcing back his laughter.  
You flip the axe again in your hand before raising it to his eye level, “Solid mithril, only responds to my touch.” before turning and walking back to your bag placing it back in then walking off grabbing bilbo’s elbow, “Im going to go catch some fish in the stream over there.”  
The group all waiting until you had gone about ten feet before they all dropped to the ground bursting with their laughter as Dwalin let out the giant breath he had been holding in.  
Oin stands and puffs himself up, “NEVER MET A CREATURE THAT COULD BEST ME!!!” waving his arms around wildly then grabbing two handfuls of his shirt as Bofur left to his side drawing back his invisible axe and hurling it at his invisible target before smiling widely as Oin loudly gasped slapping his hands to his cheeks as the Princes both slammed themselves against the rock wall both with matching looks of horror on their faces mimicking their uncle before bursting into laughter again.   
Dwalin walks back to his seat, “Ya Ya laugh it up, My future bride can hurl an axe better than any Dwarf you’ll ever find, MYSELF included. A woman worthy of making even my own Dear Mother flinch.”  
Ballin adding on, “I do agree with you there, she does have her size to the advantage of adding to her terror. Dear Mother, well..” blows out a deep breath.  
Thorin, “She made a bull Moose turn and flee just by glaring at it.”  
Dwalin, “Aya, Oh and that Dignitary from where was it again?”  
Balin, “Gondor.”  
Dwalin, “Ah yes, a great and mighty Gondorian, fled the Mountain in tears after a small discussion with Mother. Mahal I miss that Woman!!”  
Balin, “Aye, Don’t we all.” the entire nodding solemnly for a moment.  
Thorin, “I remember our Mothers going at it when my Mother was expecting Frerin, something about the color of his socks.”  
Balin, “Ahh, the shouting…”  
Dwalin, “And all the Dwarf men running for their lives as they carried on.”  
Balin, “Don’t think our Fathers came home for a month after that.” leading to another round of stories before you came back with twenty giant salmon in you and Bilbos arms, settling down as Dwalin joined you in cooking retelling the stories you’d missed wanting you to learn everything you could about his family.


	6. No Secrets

Adjusting the armchair in your sitting room you turned back to your sketch book on the stool beside it and eyed your tin of various pencils for sketching. A knock at your front door brought a smile to your face as your nerves failed to settle once again. Months together and the elder Durins you traveled with still left you feeling a bit uneasy when you were left alone with them. Ages the Dwarves had shied away from outside races so you with your muddled mix from your half breed parents left them baffled at whether to claim you at all. Soon you were welcomed among them, gaining their trust and affections, especially one in particular.  
________________________________________  
Opening the door your smile deepened as you said, “Good evening Lady Gorgo.” Bowing your head to the Dam who led the walk inside as her Husband Gloin followed timidly sliding his fingers over the pattern stitched into the hem of his shirt. Leading them through after re-locking your door your smile returned as Gorgo eyed the room as if she had expected a den of iniquity. Her shimmering cerulean eyes met yours with a sternly jealous expression masked with her forced flick of a smile as she asked, “So where will My Husband be stripping at?”  
Moving closer to the pair her eyes trailed over you reaching for your sketch book as you said, “Actually, I only really needed to see the tattoo on his arm.” Her shoulders untensed as she glanced at Gloin, “When we were in Rivendell the Men all proudly showed their Kin’s markings and earned ink for their achievements. The only one I remember on Gloin was his arm, and perhaps a better look at his freckle on his shin as well, the one that looks like a fish.”  
Gorgo’s head tilted slightly, “I thought this was to be a portrait of them streaking and swimming in the fountains.”  
You smiled again, “It is. But, not to seem rude or upset you, I got a clear enough image of their basic forms from the distance the first time, enough to fill my basic sketches. Here,” you tilted the book to show them the sketches you had made already of Gloin seated on the edge of the fountain watching the game of chicken, nearly complete but with a bare section on his arm, “Even through the clothes I have a good idea of their body shapes, though a few have asked for minor changes all I really did need was the details on the tattoos to get the correct.” Turning your head a whistle drew you to say, “That’ll be the tea, I’ll be right back.” Walking in the kitchen leaving the book in her palms she eyed the sketches as Gloin peered over her shoulder to mumble, “See, told ya she wouldn’t dare cross my One.”  
Gorgo turned firing a playful glare at him then faced you with a softer smile spreading to her eyes as she eased through your pouring her tea while you said, “I know this must have been a strange request, and I do hope I’ve handled it properly, sending you the request I mean. But Tho- Sorry, King, Thorin, requested one of our time in Rivendell were the others are a matter of borrowing the layers wished to be worn in the portrait, I could do those in my sleep with all the details sealed away of their appearances.”  
Her smile returned as they finished their tea and she patted Gloin’s leg saying, “Go ahead and take off your outer shirts, the blue one should be easy enough to roll up for the details.” Then turned to you accepting your refill as he followed her allowing his posing, “You handled it properly, thank you for the kindness of it. Normally for the King’s requests you wouldn’t need to. We all must conform to sate his preferences.”  
You smirked at her, “I’m sure with King Thorin it isn’t actually enforced like that when it concerns something like this.”  
Your eyes turned to Gloin’s arm as Gorgo eased his sleeve higher in a tight fold as you flipped the page starting the sketch as he went into full detail on what each of the elements of the tattoo meant, just as all the other men had done. They both stayed for a short time after as Gorgo came to see just how enjoyable your company was agreeing with her Husband’s opinions of you from your Journey together before they both returned to their home to make lunch and return to their duties after.  
..  
Cleaning up the cups you added the completed sketches to the pile and went to grab the sketch books to join the King in his rooms as per his earlier agreement. Knocking lightly you obeyed his stern call of “Come in.” Walking through the main hall you found him in his sitting room building the fire, already shirtless, barefoot and in loose pants, turning to you with a faint smile as he dripped with exhaustion from the long day of training he had shared with Dwalin and the Princes, “Are these suitable?”  
You nodded accepting the stool across from his chair he had settled it at the motion of his hand, “They are, pleasant day attacking your kin?”  
He chuckled weakly aching even at the smile growing across his face, “Yes, very pleasant. How has yours been, did Gorgo give you a hard time?”  
You chuckled shifting closer as he did the same allowing you a better view of the tattoos across his upper arms and shoulder blades, “I assume she had the idea I would have him naked and posing on a pedestal or something.”  
He chuckled again, “Not that you haven’t had a clear enough image from our months of travel. Even though you seemed to linger on only one of us.”  
Chuckling again you caught his mischievous twinkle in his eye making you roll yours, “If he didn’t want anyone to stare then why did Dwalin strut and flex like that. Honestly, and he wasn’t the only one, you included did your fair share of flaunting for Bilbo. Don’t think I didn’t catch that ‘accidental’ slip you had where you practically slid across him after your spooning landing around his back when you were drying.”  
He chuckled again nodding his head, “True, but our ways were so different, I had to see if he deemed me attractive.”  
You scoffed, “Anyone with eyes would deem you attractive.” Making his smile deepen.  
“Not for Dwarves, far too lean. Thank you for the compliment though.”  
Finishing your sketches you rose and helped the King to his feet as well, “And thank you for sitting through this. I know you must be aching terribly.”  
He smiled again, “Nothing too terrible. So was I the last one?”  
You shook your head, “That strutting Cousin of yours seems to flee when I get too close, haven’t managed to ask him to pose yet.”  
Thorin nodded, “Hmm, I’ll have a word with him.”  
“Nah, I’ll figure it out. No need to add to your troubles.” He smiled again accepting your hug, “I will let you rest. Good night Your Majesty.”  
He chuckled again, “It’s still Thorin to you, no matter the Company.” Making you smile again before turning to leave him to his rest.  
..  
Morning came and with it brought the Iron Hills group of Dwarves trailing the newly arrived King Dain into the main meeting hall as you claimed your seat between Ori in his new position as official scribe, donning the latest of his handmade scarves in a bright purple, and Bilbo at the King’s left. Eyeing the group of Dwarves your eyes landed on the one sending a stern scowl straight at Ori drawing a soft growl from him unable to be heard over the loud greetings the King shared before the firm claps on each other’s backs before the notes were spread across the table and they delved into the trade plans in thick Khuzdul, soon breaking into pleasanter shared stories between disputes over the figures.  
A gentle tap on your shoulder shifted your eyes from the lingering scowl and glare from the same Dwarf that did so each time they visited to the King’s Consort with a soft smile as he whispered softly in Hobbitish, “How are we to understand what they’re saying?”  
Your smile grew as you replied softly in the common tongue so you could easily be overheard, “Well, Dain is reminding the King of a story about them learning to cartwheel.” The dark haired Dwarf on Dain’s right interjected and you added, “And he’s claiming he’s been the reigning champ for twenty years now.” Bilbo’s smile grew as he sat back enjoying this game of yours over watching them silently in curiosity. Ori’s smile returned as he paid just enough attention to write their true words as he smiled at your translations.  
The burly blonde held his glare with his icy green eyes locked on Ori as his darker haired Cousin added on leading to you saying, “Now he’s shifted it back to trade, saying they should trade more wind up toys.” The redhead at his side spoke up, “And he’s arguing for ping pong paddles.”  
Thorin silenced their squabble, “Now Thorin’s reminding them of the giant Ping Pong debacle of ’23. Won’t allow it to happen again. Not in Erebor.”  
The brunette spoke causing you to say, “Now that one’s suggesting they should move the statue of Thror to allow more light for the markets.”  
With the next Dwarf came another claim as Ori bit back his chuckle while he fired a timid glare in return to the blonde’s, “And Thorin is saying he doesn’t want any fish in the markets on Tuesdays.”  
Dain spoke again, “For some reason, Dain’s brought up a story about his childhood giant boar Truffles.” With that the redheaded King pointed his finger at you with a playfully stern voice saying, “You leave Truffles out of this!” Before turning back to the argument.  
The blonde glaring spoke up with widening eyes as you added for Dain’s previous words, “And now Dain’s said they’re also in need of finely crafted winter wear.” With the blonde’s words Ori’s grin grew as you added, “Now they’re all in argument over tasking the Dwarf who made Ori’s scarf.” Their argument grew again as you added, “Now they’re fighting over who loves his craftsmanship more. The blonde especially won’t stop going on about it, how it brings out the twinkle in his eyes.” Ori’s cheeks started to heat up as you continued, “Of course now he’s obviously winning, he can obviously see Ori’s the most talented yarn craftsman in the Mountain.”  
The blonde’s mouth quirked up into a smirk before he fired another glare at Ori earning one in return as they shared a blush that drew the fiery haired King’s eyes back to you mid translation causing him to call out, “Would you kindly take your gossip elsewhere?”  
Thorin eyed you both before you fired back, “We’re not gossiping King Dain, the King’s Consort had asked me what you all were saying, and I was merely obliging.”  
Dain’s brow rose, “And how does my Truffles come into that discussion?”  
You smirked back noticing the sullen look on Dwalin’s face still holding his glare at you while your scowls at the blonde had stung him deeply in his chest, “Honestly for all he knows that is what you could have been discussing. There are seven others here who I have a good opinion that are unable to understand Khuzdul and yet you all jumped straight into it. So if you insist on Khuzdul I will at least include him in it.”  
Exhaling softly he eyed you again with a softening expression chuckling softly before asking, “And exactly why would King Thorin not want fish in the markets on Tuesdays?”  
Your smirk grew deepening Dwalin’s glare, “He checks the forges on Tuesdays, meaning he has to pass through the markets. The Ravens linger there and gossip about which Dwarf has the shiniest jewels on, and under his thick furs his are harder to see, and as King he should win hands down. So no fish, no gossiping Ravens to spoil his mood.”  
Thorin couldn’t help but halfway snort at your nonsensical answer as the Dwarves slowly broke into soft chuckles as their Kings rubbed their faces and switched to the common tongue giving you playful smiles as the meeting continued.  
..  
Lingering after the meeting you waited on Ori, at his request, as he spoke with the now no longer glaring blonde as they shared nods and a hushed conversation as the dark haired Cousin waited nearby until they broke and Ori happily rejoined your side curling his free arm under yours. Guiding you back to the dining room in the Royal Wing Ori bounced happily on his toes as he filled you into the plans to have lunch together the following day, “And his name is Terren and he’s incredible and we’re having lunch together and I owe it all to you.”  
The Princes joined your sides saying, “So, Ori, heard you finally got Terren to ask you to a meal.”  
Ori chuckled, “Actually Jaqi here did, mentioned my yarn crafting in the meeting.”  
Fili curled his arm over your shoulders with a chuckle as Kili grinned while Fili said, “Never took you for a matchmaker Jaqi.”  
Your brows pressed together, “And just how is that matchmaking, anyone can see he’s incredible at it.”  
Kili, “Yes, but in Dwarf culture unless he’s purchasing something Ori’s crafted Terren’s not supposed to comment on his craft unless it’s brought up by kin or a loved one. Which makes it hard to start a courtship when you can’t compliment your intended.”  
“But what about that whole glaring and scowling thing, Ori even growled at him earlier.”  
Kili elbowed the blushing Dwarf curled around your arm as he said, “Man, well done Ori, make him work for it!” firing a wink at Ori then glanced at you saying, “Seems we’ve got to fill you in. Growling is sort of an add on to the glaring and scowling we use to show our interest.”  
Fili, “Though it’s a lingering glare or scowl, not to be confused with normal ones for just strangers or people you don’t like. And if you growl back it means they’ve got to make the first move.”  
Kili, “Though just growling on it’s own is a sign of affection before a courtship is set out.”  
Walking through the markets Thorin joined your group with a smirk hearing your instructing conversation as you said, “Well if that’s the case then Dwalin’s got to be madly in love with me then.”  
Fili smirked knowingly asking through a chuckle, “What makes you say that?”  
“Every time I compliment him on something or speak to him he gives me a glare and growls at me.”  
Your eyes hift as you spot Dwalin walking by with his axes firmly in their home across his back and you turn to him and call out, “Your axes are looking spectacularly sharp today Master Dwalin.” He glares and growls at you before turning away. You turn back to Thorin who has missed this his whole short reign so far with a growing smirk. “See. Like that. He’s lucky I think he’s adorable when he does it.”  
Thorin chuckles, “I wasn’t aware he’d started the growling. Thought he’d at least compliment you on your craft by now.”  
You rolled your eyes, “He’d have to stay in the same room as me for longer than two minutes first to do that.”  
…  
The male Durins were all seated in the smoking room after they finalized the check on the forges, smirking you stepped in the open doorway eyeing the group spotting the unknowing Dwalin eyeing the fire until he turned to the doorway following Thorin’s gaze with a scowl forming across his face noticing it was you. Leaning in the doorway you smiled at him saying, “Master Dwalin,” A glare slid onto his face as you added, “I’ll be expecting you for dinner tonight. At 7, don’t be late.”  
His glare dimmed as he asked, “What?”  
“Hey, you’re the one who wants to walk around glaring and growling at me all the time. No more teasing, either you show up or I’ll come hunt you down and tear your clothes off. Either way they’re coming off.”  
A slightly terrified look slid onto his face as he glanced over the group of smirking Durins, knowing he should have made a move sooner and what you would be removing his clothes for. Returning to your room you couldn’t help but giggle glancing at the clock and starting dinner after setting up your sketching supplies waiting for the reaction from the adorably tense Dwarf would assume would be happening.  
...  
7 came brining a knock on your door as you set out the last of the dinner, giggling softly you went to answer the door spotting the stunned Dwarf at your door flashing a quick smile before he walked through your door unable to think let alone fire off another glare as he normally would have done. Strolling in timidly you led him in through to your sitting room saying, “Alright, just go ahead and start stripping.”  
He eyed you curiously slowly curling his fingers around the fur vest he was wearing, “You, right here? I thought it would happen more in the bedroom, not a couch.” Smirking you cross your arms, “Not, not that It wouldn’t be amazing here as well. As long as you are enjoying it I suppose here is good as well.”  
Slowly he laid his vest over the back of the nearby armchair curious why you hadn’t done anything then tensed as you asked, “Any position you wish to start with?”  
His eyes slid over to yours growing wider, “Um, I, hadn’t put a plan for it. Just, the normal ones I suppose.” Swallowing as his fingers landed on the belt holding his shirt down as he spotted you grabbing the sketch book he’d missed, “What’s that for?”  
You smirked again sitting on the couch sitting the sketchbook on your lap, “For the sketches. You’re the last of the group pose for me.”  
Turning to face you he asked, “Pose?”  
You nodded, “Yes, you remember, Thorin asked me to paint a portrait of our times in Rivendell. Including the bits with the fountains, meaning I need a better look at all your tattoos, so whenever you’re ready.” Smiling wider as his shoulders drooped to a relaxed position.  
“So we’re not going to-.”  
“Make sweet passionate love on the couch in my sitting room?” he timidly nodded, “Not right now at least.”  
He blinked again, “Wait, what?”  
You chuckled softly, “Found out what all that scowling and glaring meant,” setting the sketch book aside you stood and raised his shirt, “You really are lucky you’re so adorable when you growl.”  
A playful spark shot through his eyes that quickly dimmed, “I thought you’d more likely spend your time with that blonde you’ve spent weeks scowling at.”  
Giggling you tossed his shirt onto the chair before you raised his arm to remove his knuckle dusters and leather braces, “Terren? No, he’s apparently been after Ori, thought he was just being rude to poor Ori, somehow I managed to set them up.”  
His body relaxed as a soft smile started to slide onto his face as he replied in a hopeful tone, “So you don’t care for him?”  
You smirked tapping him on the nose, “How could any other Dwarf compare after seeing you strut and flex for months like a massive muscular peacock. Though I do have to admit I am liking the new Mohawk.”  
He chuckled watching you toss his brace onto the chair before claiming his other arm, freeing his bare arm to draw you closer, sliding his hand around your lower back through his loving gaze that slowly grew darker as he purred, “And when exactly would we be making, sweet,” you giggled as his beard brushed your cheek through his gentle peck on the cheek, “Passionate,” pressing another kiss lower on your cheek, “Love?” Drawing another giggle from you as his lips found your neck as his other hand gently tilted your head to the side.  
Lifting your hand you lowered his hand with a playful smirk setting it on your side allowing his arms to curl tighter around you while yours slid around the back of his neck, “You, at least owe me a proper kiss first.” Landing your lips on his for a quickly deepening kiss. Gripping you tighter your feet left the ground as he purred, “The sketch can wait.” Drawing another muffled giggle as he carried you to your bedroom where you spent most of the night before you slipped on his shirt.   
Leading him to the long abandoned meal to eat before you led him back to the sitting room to get the sketches of his tattoos you needed while he sat on the stool you’d set up. Giggling again you watched as he crept closer sliding his hands over your propped up legs on your lounging position on the couch with a growing smile as he purred, “I never thought I’d get to see you laid back in nothing but my shirt.” Making you bite your lip as he slid his hand higher on your thigh brushing his shirt up while his other set your sketch book on the table nearby, “Makes me want to try out a tumble on this couch.”  
Giggling again you fired a playful glare as he eased over you kneeling between your legs, “For that I might need to hear a few more growls from you Master Dwalin.”  
In a single move his hands curled around your hips pulling you up onto his lap with your arms curling around his neck to keep yourself upright through another giggle as he firmly kissed your neck again letting out a muffled growl sliding his rough hands gently under his shirt against your skin playfully cupping you through the following growls before his lips landed on yours again through a final muffled growl. Sliding his nose against yours he purred again, “And none of that Master Dwalin bit. You’re my One Love,” Kissing you again firmly, “If anyone here is in charge it’s you.”  
Giggling again your lips landed on his sliding your hands through his beard causing him to lay you back down flat as your legs curled around his waist for another loving round that soon shifted from the cramped couch to the thick rug on the floor. Right before the dying fire casting the only light in the slowly dimming room as his scattered growls drew more giggles from you making him chuckle in return before stealing more breath stealing kisses.  
Laid out around your side his lips landed on your cheek again while his fingers ran through your hair, “My Dearest Love would you do me the honor of wearing my beads?”  
Giggling again you slid your hands around his neck kissing him again, “Thought you’d never ask. Of course, I’ll wear them proudly.”  
His smile grew rising to claim the beads from his discarded pants pocket after rebuilding the fire, “Will you be in the meeting in the morning?”  
You shook your head smiling at him as you sat up, curling your legs before you with your arms wrapped around them while he settled behind you starting your braid, “No, I have to finish the portrait. Yours were the final details I needed before the big reveal.”  
He smirked curling his arms around your middle kissing your cheek, “I hope at least you’re covered in it, I don’t want anyone getting any glimpse of you undressed.”  
You giggled again as he rubbed his cheek against yours through a tight protective hug, “I’m not in them. Just you all and Bilbo.”  
“You’re not in any of them?” His body shifted as he gave you a curious glance.  
You shook your head, “Your legacies have to be recorded, though Thorin did insist on a single one with me and Bilbo on Myrtle though. And she was grateful for the apples through her sitting for the sketch.”  
He sighed, “I’m going to talk to Thorin, you were a much larger part of our Journey than you realize, you deserve to be recorded properly Love. Much more than just landing a lucky shot on Smaug, as you have claimed.” Kissing your cheek again, “Besides, you’re a part of my legacy now, one we’ll be passing on to our pebbles.” His arms gripped you tighter drawing another giggle when he growled against your neck, “Speaking of pebbles..” Playfully you squealed as he spun you around to land his lips on yours when he tackled you to the ground again through your muffled giggle.  
..  
Redressed Dwalin left for his meeting after claiming one last lingering kiss. Closing your door you turned adjusting the sleeves on the sweater you had pulled on over your favorite pants returning to your spare room you’d set up as your painting room to start the finishing touches on the painting. Finally it was completed and you set it aside to finish drying as you focused on the last of the single portraits, adding the completed ones to the self portrait Thorin had insisted of you that you had done first to get it over with before starting on the others. Boxing up the last of them your eyes left the box when Ori rushed in with a giddy chuckle as he crashed into you with a large hug before proudly showing off the bead now added to his hair.   
Grabbing your arm he led you into your sitting room as he filled you in on the entire day and night together that him and his One had spent together as all the details were squared away. Including working a deal with his Brothers and the Bur brothers next door to allow Terren to stay in Bifur and Bofur’s spare room until Terren and Ori could get their own apartment when the courtship was completed. Glancing at the clock for the time another knock sounded at your door bringing the small group of Iron Hills Dwarves into view as their leader said, “King Thorin sent us to collect the paintings.”  
You nodded showing them inside as Terren stole another brief kiss from Ori before bowing his head to you with a large smile when he left to help set up everything for the reveal. Joining the rest of the Company and their families the great hall filled with Dwarves waiting to enter the banquet hall for the last of the celebrations for the return to Erebor. Finally all the Dwarves had found their homes and old shops along with the addition of portraits commemorating the Journey the new King had taken to get them home. Group after group filed past the large wall of massive images of the major points along the way, with the largest being the fountain portrait bringing laughs from all that passed when they imagined the faces of the Elves at their antics. With the final being a shot of Smaug falling and Bilbo clutching the Arkenstone beside you holding your makeshift bow for the black arrow in the burning Laketown with Kili and Fili holding it steady for you through the shot.  
Arms curled around your back while a familiar beard brushed your cheek as a deep purring whisper sounded by your ear, “They’re excellent Love. Couldn’t have found a better artist to capture out travels.”  
Thorin at your side smiled at the pair of you, “I couldn’t agree more. And congratulations, bout time you started your courtship Dwalin.” Chuckling softly as Dwalin shot him a playful glare.


	7. Not the Beard!!

It was the middle of winter, you had finally landed back home in a small town in Alaska. You had finally gotten your last certification to continue your career path. You worked in the same shop your Grandfather worked in for most of his life, lived in his cabin up in the Mountains that he had been raised in. Choosing to follow in his footsteps after he passed, working on everything from cars to your latest certification, small planes, much like the ones that for the later part of the year needed to use to enter or leave your small town. You force your way through the waist deep snow up to your door, brush it back about a foot then stomp your boots to release the loose snow covering you and your shoes as you unlocked and opened your door. You dropped your small traveling bag and started to pack a larger bag, prepping your freezers and jars and small pressurizer for your hunting trip. You packed a few months worth of instant meals, much like the military survival meals, you’d only be gone for maybe a day or two but just in case you packed far too much, as always, the worst did tend to happen with you. As you left you added on another thick coat and grabbed your bow and arrows adding them to your bag, before stepping outside and locking your door, heading out for your normal hunting spots, hoping to get at least a moose, or maybe three mountain goats, digging out your sled to help you carry your meals back home to prepare.  
You had made it up the large hill halfway to your usual spot and your footing suddenly gives way as you fall through the thick snow, dragging your sled along with you.  
…  
The Dwarves had all poured through the door of Bagend, all landing heavily on top of their fearless leader Thorin Oakenshield. They proceeded to eat all of the Hobbits food and were currently in the final verse of “That’s What Bilbo Baggins Hates” as the hallway lights dim before suddenly a thick layer of snow along with a body and a large sled crash into the floor. With their weapons by the door they are merely left welling only their fists as you started to climb up onto your knees. Taking several deep breaths as you try to focus on your surroundings, first thought you fell into a small hidden cave beneath the snow along your path. The sheer heat hit you suddenly, making it harder to breathe, and quickly melting the snow beneath you, causing you to notice the wooden floors. You brushed away the snow and tapped the wooden floor with your thickly gloved fist, until the sound of shuffling feet in the room near you drew your attention. You turned to the group, them jumping slightly at your bright purple eyes, seeing their fists lifted, A tall old man staring at you confused as the shortest of the group was walking into the hallway walking in a circle inspecting the ceiling that was still intact, you recognized them at once, believing you were dead or dying and simply delirious just hoping It would be a quick and painless death. You remove your gloves and set them in the sled behind you before reaching up and unwrapping the scarf around your face, dropping it in the sled as well before repeating the action with the thick hood of your outer coat and the beanie underneath, before removing your four coats layer by layer. You leaned back getting off your knees and undoing your heavy snow boots and adding them to your pile, the group now dropping their fists seeing you were a woman, before turning to the confused Hobbit and Wizard standing in front of you. You cleared your throat and offered your hand to Bilbo, “Jaqi Pear, sorry for the intrusion….” Looking up at the ceiling, “Im not exactly sure how I got here. Im terribly sorry about the mess.”  
Bilbo started at your knowledge of his language, adding to the confusion of everyone else, he lifted his hands to his chest and pointed shyly, “Um…Miss Pear.” bobbing his head slightly, “Im Bilbo Baggins, this is my home, and I’m sorry to tell you but your bleeding.” before tapping his nose. Your face was still numb and adjusting to the heat and its collision with the ground, you reached up and sure enough your nose was bleeding,, though there was a strange silvery substance running through your blood, believing it was the collision that was still affecting your vision. You chuckled, “It seems I am.”   
Bilbo gave a nervous chuckle in return, “Come with me, I’ll help you clean up.” Leading you to a small bathroom in the back of his house. You quickly cleaned your face but stopped staring into the mirror, noticing your pointed ears. Gandalf quietly ducked his head into the doorway as Thorin, Dwalin and Ballin all peered through from the hall.   
Gandalf, “Are you alright child?” You recognized the language at once, yet another of your fluent tongues, switching to this language to converse with him.  
You were tugging on the tips of your ears now trying to pull these new ears off as if they were fake, only releasing them as they throbbed painfully and turned beet red, “Are these Elf ears or Hobbit ears?” You quickly turned to Gandalf and Bilbo as they both inspected your ears then Bilbos, comparing the two silently.  
Bilbo, “Elf possibly, they’re a bit more pointed then Hobbit ears.”  
Gandalf, “Your ears were not like that before you fell?”  
You, “No.” quietly inspecting your feet, squeezing them measuring them with your hands, Bilbo noticing your reason behind it.  
Bilbo, “Definitely not a Hobbit, your feet are certainly too small.”  
Over the next few hours you informed Gandalf of your knowledge of their world and their journey. After Bilbo’s reading of the contract you had managed to talk Bilbo into the Journey and helped him pack and even went with him, dragging Thorin with you, as he visited the Gamgees under your suggestion, and your insistence, “There aren’t any other Hobbits I would trust for this job in the entire length of the Shire. The best sort of Hobbits.” in your opinion. They graciously agreed to protect his home and belongings from Lobelia and all her relatives, even giving them a copy of a letter from Bilbo explaining he had been employed by Thorin, signed by you and Thorin as well, as proof of his well being and his return. Upon your return Bilbo stopped Thorin in the hallway as the group looked in, “Alright, you have yourself a burglar, on the condition that Miss Pear goes as well.”  
Thorin, “Fine she can go, but Bilbo she’s your responsibility.”  
You mutter in Hobbitish - your first language, “I am not a dog.” Scowling at the Kings back. He turns around and looks at Bilbo, “What did she say?”  
Bilbo, “She wants an apple.” Reaching for the bowl filled with apples on the table in the hall, placing an apple gently in your hand, you give a quick smile as the King turns around again, your face drops into a scowl again, you take a large bite of the apple and squint your eyes at the back of his head, Fili and Kili seeing this try not to laugh, Thorin turns around again and you quickly smile again and he turns away again in confusion at his nephews as you scowl again and go to the sitting room to read.  
…  
During your first week you found out you were now freakishly strong, had healing abilities and could control elements and metal, much like Hobbits do. Your native language turned out to be Hobbitish, the other languages you spoke turned out to be Khuzdul, common tongue and various forms of elvish and a dead dwarf language that has magic attached to it.  
….  
Your first week after waking up in Middle Earth Dwalin is rummaging through your giant bag of supplies you had brought to go camping, he nonchalantly tossed your favorite book and it slid into the fire. Ori noticed it and stopped it before there was serious damage, quickly wiping it clean.  
Now for the two weeks you had been silent, polite, shared everything you had, took the comments and sideways glances at the tiny person that had been dropped into their lives, that they had to bear the burden of. You were that kind of person, nice, quiet. Ignored by most, even at night when you were placed by Oin who had a bad habit of kicking in his sleep all you did was just get up quietly and move to the other side of him, leading to him rolling over on you, crushing you for the next four hours nightly, eventually you just learned to curl up your legs and just wait out the kicking.  
But no not this time, Dwalin had found your pocketknife he’d been searching for, but before he turned around you had ran up behind him, as he turned your clenched fist collided with his forehead, right between the eyes, somehow knocking him unconscious, dropping loudly to the ground drawing the attention of everyone. You pulled back your arm and as you unclenched your fist you felt it pulse from your elbow to your fingertips, grabbing it with your freehand and squeaking out in pain, another wave of anger washing over you, causing you to draw back your left foot and kicking him in the thigh, somehow causing him to slump onto his side, you let out another squeak as everyone heard a loud crack from your foot. You stood there grabbing your foot with your pain free hand quickly before limping away, turning to the group with tears fighting their way into your eyes, “When he wakes up tell him next time he damages anything else of mine I’m shaving him, same for all of you as well!!!” You limp away and the group lets out small snickers as they hear you mumble to yourself, “Might as well have punched a fucking rock, damn Dwarves, with their bone breaking bodies….Burned my book, I’ll throw your axe off a cliff…” Causing them to break into roaring laughter as Oin collected his supplies to tend to your wounds.  
Balin, “No one has ever knocked him unconscious before.”  
Bofur, “It seems we clearly misjudged the young Lass.”  
Ori, “That wasn’t even her dominant hand…” glancing back down at your book in his lap.  
Thorin, “What do you mean?”  
Ori, “She writes, draws, eats mostly with her right hand, she punched with her left.”  
They all looked at the ground trying to recall which hand you hand you had used, all remembering this to be true.  
Thorin, “Well I’ll be damned…The arguably best of my men, knocked unconscious at the lesser hand of a small woman we all believed to be near helpless.”  
Balin, “Oh my brother shall never hear the end of this.”  
Fili/Kili, “Never!!!”  
Dwalin had started to grumble as he grabbed his head, with bruises starting to form around his eyes, resembling a raccoon. He sat up and looked to The group who all burst into laughter again. “What’s so funny?” Trying to stand and puff himself but sitting back down and holding his thumping head from the sudden raise of his pulse at standing.  
Fili/Kili, “You got knocked out!!!”  
Dwalin, “Im aware of that. Which one of you punched me?”  
Thorins face twisted into a large smile, “Jaqi.”  
Dwalin, “No I mean after she hit me. Which one of you hit me after she did? The lass couldn’t have caused this much pain alone.”  
All, “She Did!!”  
His face dropped as he thought back and it clicked into his head the memory that you had punched him and then he felt himself drop, though that didn’t explain the pain shooting through his leg. “Then who hit my leg?” Rubbing it hard, trying to alleviate the pain coursing through it. No one had ever caused him this much pain before without a weapon.  
Bofur let out a large chuckle, “Oh the lass kicked you after you dropped. You should have seen it…” bursting into laughter and leaning against his quietly laughing brother Bifur and causing Bombur. Fill and Kill both imitating the kick and the look on your face and you grabbing your foot, before bursting into laughter again, plopping back down onto the ground and slumping onto each other.  
Balin, “Ahh Jaqi did have a message for when you woke.”  
Thorin, “She said if you damaged her property again she’d shave you.”  
Balin, “And there was something about tossing your axe off a cliff.”  
Dwalin’s eyes going wide as the group smirked again, all knowing that you had been well informed about insulting dwarves and a brief history of their customs at your asking by Balin, only getting an answer after you told him you were just asking for anything that they would find insulting, seeing as you had a long Journey ahead of you, after a short meeting with the rest of the Dwarves they allowed a short list to be given to you, “the bare bones” as you had put it to them, all very satisfied when you had thanked them for the information and had made note of it in one of your journals and promised not to cross the lines they had drawn. Though over the short time together and seeing how you had merely wanted to learn how to exist with them and also at their noticing a certain Mountain of a Dwarf had started to have feelings for you the three head Dwarves had allowed the others to give you more information on their race, which you just breathed in. Ori quickly becoming your friend along with Bilbo, the three of you being almost the same person by the groups observations. Ori being your greatest source of knowledge into their world.  
Dwalins eyes went to Nori who was snickering and whispering to his brother Dori and Gloin, “What are you whispering about?”   
Nori reached into his bag and pulled out a small mirror and handing It to Dwalin, “Your Face!!” The group roared loudly in laughter again as Dwalin let out a gasp and touched his face, now resembling a raccoon, the bruises deepening and now almost a dark purple, handing him back the small mirror and waiting for you to return.  
You returned shortly later with your left hand in a small brace up to your elbow and at Oins insistence, a small sling you had to wear for at least three days, and you had taped your toes with some of the medical tape you had packed. Still limping slightly but walking on your own with your boot back on your foot. The group looking to you and Own smirking proudly as Dwalin’s face dropped at the scowl you shot at him, watching as Bilbo and Ori helped you into your spot and settled around you as Ori handed you your book. You gave him a small smile as he told you, “Only a small singing on the edges, the words are all fine, I checked.” You gave him a small smile and a rubbed his arm gently, “Thank you Ori.”  
Thorin fought back the laughter in his voice, “Are you alright, Jaqi?”  
You, “Bruised my hand, dislocated one of my fingers, and broke two of my toes.” Shooting him another scowl.  
Dwalin took a deep breath and pointed at his face, “Look what you did to my face!”  
You, “You broke two of my toes, you giant boulder!!”  
Dwalin, “You Punched me!!! I did nothing to your feet!!”  
You, “I punched you then I kicked you!! You boulder!!”  
Dwalin, “Nobody made you kick me!!! This is just my face, imagine the bruise on my leg!!”  
You, “I am, it’s not nearly big enough!!” Dwalin let out a loud grumble as he thought of something else to say, crossing his arms across his chest. You held up your book, him finally seeing your favorite book that he had involuntarily singed, “My book, Look at it, My Favorite Book!!”  
Dwalin let out in almost a whisper, his voice trembling slightly, dropping his arms, clenching his pants, knowing how painful it must have been for you, he’d have done the same had it been their favorite belonging, “I am sorry. I had no intention of damaging it.”  
You dropped your book into your lap, looking away and then back to him, “What were you looking for?”  
Dwalin reached beside him, grabbed your pocketknife and lifted it in the air giving a shy smile, “Your pocketknife. Wanted to borrow it.” You nod your head, a nervousness washing over the group. “Ive never been knocked unconscious before.” he let out in an attempt at nonchalance.   
Your eyes snapped back to him, “You’re joking!”  
Dwalin gave a shy shrug as Thorin chimed in, “Nope, never, You’re the first to manage it without a weapon.” You let out a small chuckle, then bit your lip and held it firmly until your face twisted into an awkward smile as you burst into a fit of laughter, the group quickly joining in, including Dwalin eventually.  
…  
After you had finally managed to sleep, curled up between Ori and Bilbo, Dwalin had formed a small circle with Ballin and Thorin as usual, being the first to take watch tonight.  
Dwalin was now polishing your small pocketknife, “I wish she had something bigger to defend herself. This couldn’t do very much damage to anything.”  
Balin, “Now she just might, she’s got quite a big pack, and she just may have another hidden on her somewhere, like she had with her bow and arrows.”  
Thorin looked at his cousin, “Ah I see it now, thats your plan, polish it nicely and she’ll allow you to court her?”  
Dwalin, “It might work, though there’s not much to clean off it, needed sharpening a bit, but it was mostly new already shine wise.”  
Balin, “We haven’t covered courting yet…”  
Dwalin, Thorin, “Hmm?”  
Balin, “We haven’t told her about Dwarf courting yet.”  
Dwalin grumbled again and rubbed his still aching face.  
Thorin patted his cousin heavily on the back, “Don’t worry we will.”  
…  
The next day when you broke for dinner the Princes had just returned carrying a large boar hey had caught for dinner and fought over whose knives they should use for cleaning their kill.  
Fili, “Let’s use yours, they’ve less runes carved into them.”  
Kili, “No bit yours are sharper.”  
You quietly reach into your boot and drew out a large 7 inch hunting knife with a wooden carved handle with wolves carved around it still in its sheath, holding it by the covered blade and offering it to the brothers, “Here, use mine, I only use it for hunting.” The group all watching as Fili accepted the knife, sat next to his brother and unsheathed the blade, all of them gasping quietly as they saw the shine on it and the craftsmanship of it.  
Fili, “Did you make this?” looking back up at you with almost a pleading look.  
You, “No, it was my Grandfathers, he got it when he was serving in the military when he was stationed overseas, the only thing of his I have with me, his knife and my Grandmothers Ring, lifting your hand showing the ring with three large e dark purple stones surrounded by diamonds with a wedding band covered in small sapphires you wore on your right ring finger.” smiling softly at your hand, the group all imagining the mark it would have left on Dwalin and understanding why you had chosen your left.  
The Princes started taking apart the Boar using your knife making comments on how sharp and well suited for the task it was.  
Thorin, “You were close with your Grandfather?”  
You, “He took me in when I was 6. I was sent to my Grandfather up in his cabin in the mountains of Alaska.”  
Balin, “You were sent there?”  
You, “My father didn’t want me.”  
Thorin, “Im sure that’s not true!”  
Bofur, “Who wouldn’t want you?”  
Dwalin, You’d be hard pressed to find a Dwarf who doesn’t want a daughter.”  
You, “My father wanted a son. Women aren’t as highly held in my world as with Dwarves here. Women are property their entire lives, first to their parents then handed off to their husbands.” Their faces dropping, “Their only benefit is how much money the women can make them. A son you can teach and raise into a Man, something to be proud of, daughters are meant more to look at and to be well behaved. He spent years letting me know I wasn’t the son my mother promised him. I came home when I was 6 after school, he was just gone. I never met my mom, so my Grandfather had a lot to repair when he got me. But I’m better now. One of the best mechanics in my town, one of the best women mechanics in the state. Got excellent grades. Then the cabin…He taught me to fight, hunt, fish and how to take care of myself. He was so proud of me.” Smiling brightly as you wiped away a small tear off your cheek as Bifur, Bofur and Bombur hugged you tightly, making you laugh.  
Thorin smiled as he told you, “For a daughter like you a Dwarf would give everything he had. Your father should have known that.” He walked over knelt before you and wrapped you into a hug, settling his cheek on top of your head, “There isn’t a Dwarf here that isn’t proud of you, and willing to do anything to protect you.” Pulling back and looking you in the eyes, “Nobody will ever treat you badly again. Not with us around.” Before sitting next to you and smiling at you.  
Gloin, “Especially after we tell them all you bested Dwalin.” Adding a small nod.  
Dwalin gave a chuckle, “Ah, Lass, I’ll be the first to be spreading that story, Be Proud to tell it too. My reputation is well known, so hearing you bested me so easily will earn you the top spot in the Mountain.” This making you chuckle again, as Dwalin stared at you adoringly.  
The next day Balin made it a point to get close to you, “Jaqi, I noticed you didn’t mention if you’d been courted or not.”  
You let out a nervous chuckle, “I haven’t been…courted as you call it. Im a but too intense, and I eat too much, so my aunt would tell me.”  
Balin gave you a large smile with a mischievous twinkle in his eyes, “Well now you should definitely learn about Dwarf courting. It being one of the most beautiful ways to be courted, to my knowledge.” Bilbo raising an eyebrow at this but choosing to ignore this small slight against Hobbits and their secretive ways of courting.  
The rest of the group hearing him carrying on through the whole process, rolling their eyes at how obvious he was being, Dwalin smiled widely as Thorin patted him on the back letting out a quiet chuckle. They were certainly determined to guide you and Dwalin through this minefield of your vast culture differences when it comes to courting.


	8. One Stew a Day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> One Stew a Day Keeps the Mortar Bears Away

“Boys eat your stew!”  
The younger of your two boys gently tapped the small chunk of carrot floating in his stew with a disgusted look on his face as his tongue hung out over his bottom lip before laying his spoon down, leaning back against the chair he was kneeling in crossing his arms as his older brother beside him slid the bowl away from him before taking the same proud stance.  
A sigh escaping from you, from your spot at the sink in the kitchen, at the sound of the bowl scooting across the thick wooden table triggering your husband Thorin to draw in a deep breath preparing himself to climb back into his throbbing feet from a days worth of meetings all across the mountain before his detailed inspection of the massive forges, the massive paw of a hand attached to his Cousin Dwalin’s arm patted his chest as he climbed onto his feet before heading through the doorway connecting their sitting room where they and the Princes were relaxing and smoking into the dining room.  
Setting his pipe on the small table in the ashtray near the door he forced a smile into his face as he strutted over, claiming the seat across from the small boys after eyeing their baby sister in the small crib along the wall. The boys holding their smug expressions silently adamant in their refusal even as Dwalin scooted the bowl back to his Nephew, “You Boys best finish the whole bowl, how else are you going to stay hidden from the Mortar Bears? Hmm?”  
The older of the two glanced down at the bowl raising an eyebrow as his arms slowly uncurled pondering how this stew could fend off the mighty creatures Dwarves children are often warned against, each clinging to various traditions and belongings to ward off the creatures. His younger brother glanced at him with an unamused scowl, “You’re lying!”  
Dwalin leaned forward as Thorin could be heard leaning in his chair to get a better view ready to jump in if needed, Dwalins eyebrow lifted as a smirk ran across his face, “Really now? Then how do you suppose I lost his chunk of my ear?”   
Their eyes darting to his right ear that had a large bite taken out of the top of it, their eyes widening at the images flooding into their minds about how he’d lost it as Dwalin continued, “I was a bit older than you both, didn’t like my stew either, not much for greens, snuck it into my brothers bowl and snuck out to play. Halfway through a game of axes and arrows when I’d gone to collect my ax for the next throw when I felt this hot gust of air hit the side of my head.”   
The older of the boys jerked his bowl closer to him gripping his spoon with his eyes wide open quickly shoveling the stew back as his younger brother’s stunned gaze locked on his Uncle in terror, “Now mind you it was only a small one, bout the size of a cow, but oh, did it hurt. First it licked me then it took the bite, course my Mother came running when she heard the scream, tell you what after that day I swear I could still hear it sniffing around for me, looking for another bite. Never skipped on my stew after that day, learned that the hard way!” The smaller child’s trembling hand gripped the spoon and steadily ate the stew, his face twisting in disgust as he chewed the large bits of carrots he’d despised.  
Dwalin smugly headed back to continue his smoke after kissing the boys on the top of their heads and adding another scoop into each of their bowls holding back his chuckle as they thanked him. Shortly after they’d headed to bed you walked to their sitting room leaning against the doorframe glancing at Dwalin with a small exhausted smile, “Thank you.”  
“Oh it’s no problem at all. Its gotta be useful for something, least of all a good scary story.” He stood heading over to you, wrapping you in a hug before he made his way home for the night.  
“How did it happen?”  
He glanced back at you with a smirk, “Target practice with Thorin, he never really got the hang of archery.” Chuckling as a small giggle escaped you before closing the door behind him.


End file.
